Phil Van Stavern was 38 when he discovered that only a kidney transplant would enable him to live long enough to raise his two sons. His older brother Neil was tested and found to be a perfect tissue match. Twenty-two years after receiving one of his brother’s healthy kidneys, Phil is healthy and leads a busy life, including serving as the interim chief operating officer of LifeShare of Oklahoma, the state’s organ and tissue recovery organization. Sadly, on Memorial Day, 2010, Phil's much-loved grandson, Nick, 14, was killed in a four-wheeler accident. Nick’s parents consented to his becoming a tissue donor, “something we’re all sure that he would have wanted, and that he would have thought was very cool.”

Phil's Story

Phil Van Stavern was 38 when he discovered that he had extremely high blood pressure. A trip to the doctor revealed that he had chronic kidney disease which had nearly destroyed the ability of his kidneys to filter the toxins from his blood. It was just two years later that he had to begin dialysis in order to survive, but he continued to work as the public relations director for a large medical center and raise two sons while he underwent dialysis at home.

“It was tough. My parents moved up from Texas to help me take care of my boys…and to take care of me. There were many days when I didn’t think I would be able to get up and go to work, but I didn’t want my sons to see me give up, and I didn’t want to scare them.”

Phil knew that he would have to have a transplant if he was going to live long enough to raise his kids. Although he was on the national transplant waiting list for a kidney from a deceased donor, his older brother, Neil, a veterinarian in College Station, Texas, had always said that he would be Phil’s donor when the time came.

“The time came just 18 months after I began dialysis. Neuropathy in my legs was threatening my ability to walk. My doctor said that if I didn’t have a transplant soon, I might end up in a wheelchair, unable to walk at all.”

Neil was tested and he was a perfect tissue match. On March 31, 1988, Phil received one of his brother’s healthy kidneys. Twenty-two years later, Phil is still healthy and leads a busy and active life. He is the interim chief operating officer of LifeShare of Oklahoma, an organ and tissue recovery organization, where he has worked for more than 19 years. It is a work that he loves.

“I was blessed to find and marry Barbara, the love of my life; I was there to watch my sons, Jeremy and Aaron grow up to become wonderful men and fathers, and I was honored to walk our sweet daughter, Sarah, down the aisle at her wedding. And I was there for the special blessing of our four precious grandchildren, Meghan, Nick, Shelby and Regan. None of that would have been possible without Neil’s kidney donation. I’m a most fortunate man.”

Sadly, on Memorial Day, 2010, Phil and his family experienced a tragedy that changed all of their lives. His much loved grandson, Nick, 14, was killed in a four-wheeler accident.

“It was like an emotional earthquake. We were all stunned. Nick’s parents, Jeremy and Cheryll, and his big sister, Meghan, were devastated. But we were all comforted by the knowledge that Nick had given his life to the Lord Jesus Christ and had become a young man of strong faith. And Nick’s parents consented to his becoming a tissue donor, something we’re all sure that he would have wanted, and that he would have thought was very cool.”

Phil and his family now know both sides of the miracle that is donation and transplantation, and they are committed to encouraging and inspiring others to register to be donors.